Saturday 3 April 2010

Est. 0

We're getting close to Easter, another major Christian holiday. I like Easter because people don't make a big fuss about it. I know that because it's not mandatory for me to spend Easter with my family - unlike Christmas. Which is weird because Christmas represents the birth of Christ - it's not that God-like,we all have birthdays - but Easter represents the resurrection of the Christ, which is a totally awesome move from Jesus, no one can do that!

Anyway, since it's a day off I decided to go to the center again and visit the Museo de la Inquisicion (which I have been advised to visit in one of the comments). So I took the bus and headed downtown for a cultural journey.

Well, culture is relative - on my way I discovered that Peruvians are not really into the movie and music culture:

Yeah, Alec Baldwing!!!


I'm sure the real Beatles would be very proud of their successors 


As I got to the center, I saw a horde of Catholics listening to the priest's sermon, praying and queuing to get into the church.


So I decided to get away from that religious crowd in order to start with my cultural journey and visit the museum. But as I was reacting counter-magnetically to this place, I ran into another crowd of joyful Catholics celebrating the return of the Christ.



And another one!


They were everywhere, walking hand by hand or in family, rushing to the church to hear the latest 2'000-year-old gossip about Mary and Joseph's immaculate conception. 

This made me think how successful the Church is. It brings people to its temples around the world every year during the holidays. What is their secret? How can they be so successful? 

I ask myself this because if one day I set up my own company, I want to use the same business model than these guys.

So let's break down it into pieces and analyse it. I will compare the Church to any other company.

1) It has a logo, like Coca-Cola for example:



2) It has shops all over the world:



3) It has employees all over the world:


4) It discriminates between its male and female employees:


I had to go through 7 pages of Google Image to find a decent picture of a nun!

5) It has a Head Office...well it's an actual country:


6) It has competitors:



7) A rich Chairman:




8) A product, well it's mostly trying to sell a message through its product:





And so on, I think you get the point.

The Church is rich, it invests its money in real estate and other sectors, it was actually once caught investing in a condom factory. The Church emits financial instruments in order to expand - all that, just like a regular company. 

But there is one major difference. One thing that makes it unbeatable: spirituality, DUH! It touches people spiritually which keeps them coming from generation to generation. Finance-wise, this is a great advantage because it makes it recession proof. People go to Church in good times and bad times, whether there's a crisis or a storm. The company is a success, congrats guys!

Unfortunately, religions operate as any other business. They make money, they want to expand, they have dirty little secrets and they pretend to make you feel good.

I just got one advice to you Pope Benedict: spend less money on gold and list the Church on the stock market. Because with your diversified portfolio and your downside hedge, I would be the first one to buy the stock.

Gold much?



4 comments:

  1. hahahahahahaha! ca fait lgt ke je suis pas passer par ton blog faute de temps! mais la ca fait du bien de revenir surtout parceque c drole!!!

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  2. ya d eboulement au Perou, comment ca se passe?

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  3. Et d'ailleurs il faudrait que tu leur fasses des propositions de conseil en finances mec, l'Eglise a besoin de toi. Tu pourrais devenir un héros et régler plein de scandale en moins de 2 minutes, si tu les aides à supprimer la quête:
    http://www.rue89.com/na/2010/04/03/les-vraies-raisons-des-tendances-pedophiles-des-pretres-145951

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  4. looooool I loved your advice to the pope!! I liked the analysis :)

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