Sunglasses and cleavage

The Arab uprising came as a surprise to everyone, literally.

To the West, who was torn between the joy of spreading democracy and the risks of higher fuel prices. To the Arab leaders, who didn't know their people had a voice. And to the protesters, who probably didn't know they had a voice either.

The other unexpected outcome was the government's response to these protests. Since protesting is a virgin territory for both the people and the authorities, no one really knew what to expect. Tunisia and Egypt did well, Lybia and Syria aren't.

No one can really help Lybia as their leader is a self-centered, self-absorbed lunatic with a bad sense of fashion. But I think that in Syria's case, there may be some hope. If you think about it, no one may have challenged the Egyptian, Yemeni, Bahreini or Lybian governments in the past, but someone already fought the Syrian government: Lebanon after Hariri's death.

The Syrians may not know how to defeat their government, but we do. We fought the Syrian authorities for more than 10 years, trying out every single strategy until it finally worked in 2005 (we are so avant-gardistes, by the way).

So here is a tip as to how you can get your freedom in Syria.

Love the camera and the media, it worked for us and it should work for you:

International pressure is what will make Al-Assad bail, people abroad need to know what is going on in Syria and you need to be all over the news. I know it isn't easy because of the tight media control and the government cuting off internet and telephones. Nevertheless, many photos and videos still make their way out to the world and this is what you need to focus on. You also have to make it worth the risk for the journalists to come to Syria and take some nice shots of protest scenes.

So this, for instance, is a no-go:

What is that? A crowed of stinky men?



This is what you want:

Two words you have to keep in mind: sunglasses and cleavage.

With such hot and glamorous protestors, the world will start paying attention to your cause. The world is a superficial place and the young viewers from the West are your target. Don't forget that in their perspective you are competing with the latest Lady Gaga video and the only thing you are currently offering them is a bunch of Arabs protesting in dusty flipflops and out of fashion ripped off shirts.

So I repeat in case you didn't get it the first time.

SUNGLASSES:

I know this pic is probably from the 2006 war

And CLEAVAGE:

Trust me, this will allow you make it to the top news, because look at the BBC website, you're number 7 in the top 10 of the most read news. Number 7? That's so weak.

Another small tip for the international viewers' convinience: be multi-lingual. Don't sit around in a square and shout like cattle, carry big signs in several languages, ideally French, English and Arabic.

I actually think this poster is still available somewhere in Beirut, let us know if you need it and we can send it to you ASAP.

I hope these tips were helpful. Please do not hesitate to use this blog as a platform for any questions you may have about taking down your government.

Syria, you are welcome.