Sunday, 25 October 2009

Tap water is so yesterday

Today, each and every product has its different ranges: cars, houses, computers, phones and even food. Some are the luxury brands, others are the regular or the low budget ones - there's something for everyone. Even though some people would find these classifications unfair, they are justified: you can't possibly think that a Porsche can be equivalent to a Hyundai Coupe. And the reason why these disparities are accepted is because they are fair - Porsche and Hyundai have access to the same resources on Earth but they transform them differently in their factories making the output different, hence justifying the price difference.

Nevertheless, there are some product that do not justify this price difference, like water. Water is the most indispensable resource to humans, we all need it to survive regardless of our colour, religion or wealth. It is the most important factor to human survival as we not only need it to drink but also to grow our food. Water is the same to all of us. Sure, Evian has a different taste than Henniez or Vittel - better or worse is up to our senses - thus this might justify the small price differences between these brands. Other factors justifying price differences would be the scarcity of this specific water source or maybe its distance (difficult to reach), etc. But nothing would justify a bottle of water at more than 6fr (6$ or 4 euros), maybe if we're at concert - but that's it!

But today we are witnessing the new trend of the Luxury Water. Water companies are making huge amount of money by selling water at astronomic prices saying it comes from a special rock, or because it is good for you brain, etc. But water cannot be luxurious, it hasn't been modified by man! The raw materials Porsche uses are modified in the factory making it more expensive than Hyundai's. But water? Look, even this brand says it is "untouched by man" so why is it so expensive?

I agree that some waters have more or less minerals, taste or nutrients than others - but I don't think it justifies the luxurious range of water. Some are Referred to as "The Breathing Water" due to its level of oxygen concentration which is 35 times higher than regular water; others are The captured water that is low in dissolved salts and high in the alkalinity, making it perfect for use as a detox. Its unique bottle design and flavor gives it a distinct identity.

This all sounds very nice especially with the lovely lounge music playing in the back when you visit their websites - it feels so soothing, like their water!

Water has become the next "cool" thing. Since it was so casual to drink, some companies decided to turn it into a whole new "experience" because the rich people can't possibly drink the same way the poor people do. These companies are not to blame though, it's the consumer!

By the way it is not called "water" anymore now you have to call it "h2o"; careful, don't make this mistake it can be very embarrassing. Some companies, like Bling(h2o), don't even have anything special in their water - it is just the water the Hollywood stars drink and sip from at their super-expensive night clubs. A blind test actually showed that NY citizens preferred their tap water to Bling - but the tap water doesn't come in an awesome package!

Water, this amazing liquid that allows us to get through the day, has now been turned into this new marketing experience in order to make more money out of it (thank God it is not yet listed on the stock market). 5000 people a day die from drinking bad water and over a billion other people don't have access to clean and drinkable water - but hey, let's buy this bottle at 55$ and pretend we never heard of these people.

The funny thing is that we all drink the same water. There always is the same amount of water circulating on earth (weather it's in ice, clouds, lakes or oceans) hence the pee of a poor, old and sick Congolese could end up as rain in Europe where they produce this H2o water. It's the same water for all of us, this extreme luxury thing has just got to stop, we are being ridiculous.

Oh, and in case somebody forgot, snow is also water - so how awesome would it be to have luxury ski slopes made from frozen Bling water - and we could call it H2Cold™. I can't possibly ski on regular rain water, my Gucci skis are not fit for that.

1 comment:

  1. You have Gucci skis??

    I agree - designer water is for wankers, plain and simple.